in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
