He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
