i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
