the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
