I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
