Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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