I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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