I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
