His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
