he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
