We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
