i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
