I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
