Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
