Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
