Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
