Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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