If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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