My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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