guys are only as good as the porn they watch
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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