I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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