it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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