Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
