the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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