Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
