My room smells like vodka and shame
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
