god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Even the bartender felt bad for me
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
