Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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