So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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