You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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