I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
