Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
