He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I don't deserve a penis
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I could fuck to npr.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
