hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
honey bunches of taint.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
