I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
