Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
