I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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