You really coming over, don't trick.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
