so explain again why im purple
no
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
