There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
