I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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