No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
