I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Can I color on your dick again?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
