i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
