I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
This girl is more easily done than said...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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