Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I cut my penus on the lid.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
