Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
