I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
