the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
