butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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