New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
