Kiss
Puke
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
