I think i peed on brittanys purse
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
