i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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